A Message to All Students who don’t make the Grade with their A Levels

It was a Thursday in 1984 and my best friend picked me up in her purple Ford and took me to our school where we waited in line to get our A level results. My tummy was fluttering, I hadn’t slept the night before.

It had been a hard year, I’d worked so hard, often feeling overwhelmed by the amount of revision and reading I needed to do – to complete A levels in English Literature, French and History. I’d also, for the first time at my school, been asked to do an ‘S’ level in English Literature as an extra, higher qualification. This had meant the exam period had lasted a week longer than my friends.

I was also working on Saturdays at a local shop to earn my own money and I had a steady boyfriend so there were other things going on in my life. Doing revision and trying to manage other commitments were taking their toll, though I didn’t know that yet.

I had excelled in my course work all year, rarely getting below a B grade for anything however I knew I tended not to do so well in the pressure of an examination so I’d worked hard to do enough. Coursework did not count towards a grade then.

My future was waiting for me. I had offers of two university places – one to study English Literature and one Medieval English and I was ready – ready to be the first person in my family to go to university and study for a degree. I thought I might want to be a teacher. I needed two Bs & a C. Given I’d got As and Bs in those subjects at O Level, I was confident I’d done enough.

The moment of truth came and with my three best friends – Lisa, Helena and Dave – we all ripped open our results.

I can still remember how that felt. There had to be a mistake – I’d got a C in French, a D in English Literature and an E in History. The only good mark was a Distinction in the S level paper. I felt stunned, frozen in time. As if the world had stopped. I’d never got such low marks before.

As if in slow motion I looked at my friends Helena and Dave and they were leaping around, their next move beckoned, they’d done enough to get to that next stage. I looked at Lisa and she looked at me. We were both in the same space. Stuck, stunned and shocked. Our dreams were disintegrating in front of us.

I don’t actually remember what happened next, other than feeling I needed to leave immediately. I also didn’t know what to do, where to turn, who to speak to. My parents were waiting for news. I couldn’t even tell them, I just handed them the piece of paper.

Back then the school were useless, I had a strong feeling that they didn’t care because I hadn’t made the grade – I wouldn’t make the newspaper article about their highest achievers. We had no internet then or mobile phones. I spent the day stunned, I didn’t even cry, I wouldn’t answer phone calls to the house phone, I wouldn’t talk to anyone. I was in a vacuum.

How long it took me to break out of that state, I don’t remember. It must have been a day or two. What I did do was seek help outside of my family – my parents didn’t mind if I didn’t go to university, they would never have thought less of me, nor did my boyfriend at the time. This also meant they didn’t have the knowledge or the desire to help me, other than a sympathetic ear (something I didn’t want).

Eventually, I took the initiative and called UCAS in the form it was then and applied through clearing. I have to say they were very helpful and they gave me hope. Otherwise, I knew I would have to go back to school and re-take my A levels and I really didn’t want to do that. Who wants to stay on at school when all of your closest friends had moved on with their lives and you were still there – an obvious failure.

In a few weeks, I was offered an interview at Bath College of Higher Education (now Bath Spa University) to study a BA Hons in Combined Studies (English Literature & History), a new course that year.

When I went to that interview in a stately home just outside of Bath, that confident teenage persona had entirely disappeared. I was desperate, I was humbled and I felt that I’d been kidding myself about how clever I was. I couldn’t have felt much lower – coupled with that my dear granny was very ill and in the hospital so life didn’t feel very positive all round (she did in fact pass away a few weeks later).

To my utter amazement, one of the panels who interviewed me – then Dr. Mara Kalnins – said actually O levels were a much better indicator of performance. I was offered a place on the course which I was delighted to accept. What also helped was that as a smaller place of learning, I really felt at home.

This was the start of a fantastic three years where I grew up, I became more myself, I learned for the pure joy of learning and I became independent. I realised that my utter self-confidence in my ability to get high grades was misplaced and I had to be more than an examination result to get where I wanted to go. When I went into that university I felt I wanted to be a teacher, when I came out I knew I wanted to be a journalist and writer. I also came out with a 2:1 highly commended degree, missing a first-class honours by a mere couple of percentage points. Nevertheless, I was thrilled.

Roll forward 32 years and here I am supporting my own children going through the same experiences. Two of our four children have done A levels and they both did better than me. One is working and the other is at university herself following her passion.

Not that it matters – I’ve said to them that there are many routes to success and if one doesn’t work try another. It’s great to have high academic qualifications – and for some jobs, you need them – however always explore other options. Think about a Plan B early doors.

Could an apprenticeship be better? A college of further education? A traineeship? A foundation course? A gap year? A job for a while? Night classes?

I have enjoyed a long career where my love of the English language and literature has enriched me and earned my living and I feel very blessed. I have worked in newspapers, on the radio, on television both local and national. I’ve interviewed and met celebrities, prime ministers, countless politicians, and one American president. I’ve also met those extraordinary ordinary people with wonderful and powerful stories to tell. I’ve built my own little micro-business, something I never thought I’d be capable of. I’ve become a parent and I want my children to know they are successful no matter what and I’ll help them as much as I can.

My message to anyone today who didn’t the grades they’d hoped for is:

“Take time to grieve yet not too much time. Seek out the other options available to you and really think about which one will suit you and your personality. Take some positive action to make you feel more positive and remember there will be a reason for this – this is simply not your door. Be confident you will get where you want to be – and all of this will make sense.”

To everyone who does get the grades they wanted – that’s great, well done and best of luck. However remember good grades are not enough on their own you must cultivate other skills, the most important of which are social and emotional intelligence.